A Personal Operating Principle is a value lived consistently, tested under pressure and through experience.

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A couple sits down to dinner and the husband asks his wife:
“SHALL WE BUILD A NEW CASE AGAINST EACH OTHER TONIGHT OR SHALL WE JUST REHEAT THE SAME OLD ARGUMENT?” -The New Yorker

Family Therapy

Just as individuals go through stages of development so do marriages and families, and the three intersect. Contemporary marriages are founded on love and shared interests and yet to successfully negotiate the transitions within self, family and this relationship requires skill and experience.What attracts us to each other is not what causes a partnership to deepen and mature. So what does? What is the currency of exchange to strengthen and grow relationships? How and from whom do you learn? This therapeutic process provides tools and experiential learning, tailored to the individual couple.

When Might I Benefit From It?

Most people wait too long to acknowledge to themselves, let alone their partner, their discontent. And many people mistakenly attribute this discontent solely to the marriage.

The optimal time to seek therapy is when the dissatisfactions start to niggle, before you draw conclusions about cause and develop negative patterns of self protection. This might occur at any time of transition such as the birth of a child, turning 40, a career change, parental illness, or misaligned personal growth rates. Or it may occur “out of the blue”. If your communication channels are not well developed, you will fail to negotiate the change without guidance. Seek help.

How Does It Work?

Rilla’s approach is solution-focused and her client is the relationship. The objective is to make it not only functional but fulfilling. The first step is to take full ownership of yourself as creator in the relationship. Blaming the other is not a viable path to solution.

The therapist assesses the strengths and areas for development, provides insight into the themes, co-creates an action plan, and then provides tools and processes with which to successfully achieve the plan. In session, the couple is introduced to the tools and coached by Rilla in how to use them. Optimal results occur with consistent practice at home. Both individuals require self-discipline to transcend the desire to be right or to retreat, and instead put energy into the desire to learn how to build emotional intimacy and delight from the new blueprint.